It’s time to get back to being me!

First Christian Church of Mableton - November 3, 2018

Last Monday was November 26th, and would have been Mike and I’s 24th wedding anniversary. It also would have been my last round of chemotherapy had I had it on schedule.

As I sat down to write this I realized I haven’t updated in two months! I’m sorry. The last I wrote I explained that I was about to begin a new chemo and it should be easier, and it has been, and hasn’t. I went in for the last round of that cocktail and ended up having a blood transfusion. It turns out my hemoglobin had gotten really low and that alone -even without chemo would make someone feel awful, so it’s no wonder I was as pathetic as I was!

While Taxol has been hard I can say it has by far been easier than that ole red devil. Headaches have been exchanged for bone pain and neuropathy, the difference being I can function on most days with pain whereas the headaches just held me hostage in my bed.

The bone pain is intense (bone crushing intense) but with medicine and time, it passes. Neuropathy on the other hand can be permanent with this type of cancer drug and it is painful! I haven’t felt my feet in six weeks now. They burn and sting round the clock, everyday all day.

Why am I telling you all this? So that when the Lord heals me of the neuropathy, you’ll be a witness! Last visit my oncologist wanted to wait a week to give my body the time of another few days to heal. I have, but my feet are the same. I’ve been asking God if I should have this last round and this morning I knew he was saying yes. At this point the nerve damage thats done, is done, and I believe with time it will heal. So, in the morning I will head down for the final round.  - Who can say “final round” without starting to sing It’s the Final Countdown in your head?

Even with the side effects of toxic chemicals putting a crimp in my style and messing with plans, there is more than plenty of things to praise my Savior over! The treatments have hit the cancer so hard that the tumors can’t even be felt by my doctors anymore!!! On the days it was most important that I be “me” he gave me the strength I needed! I was able to bake a cake and celebrate Danny’s birthday with a surprise party, attend a Precepts conference, have Thanksgiving at my house, go with the cub scouts on the Polar Express, and most importantly, fulfill the Kingdom work God put on my calendar!

Before leaving for Albania, just after having the biopsy, three friends and I prayed. I asked them to pray that if I was going to be okay for the Lord to put on my calendar things doing his work (without me seeking them.) I got the cancer call on Friday, on Monday I had an email from a new sweet friend asking me if I would consider speaking at her church’s women’s retreat in November. After reading the email I went running upstairs to Jen yelling “I’m at least alive until November!” Disclaimer: My sense of humor got darker after Mike died, and even weirder after cancer, so in case you didn’t know already - yelling to one of your best friends that you’re alive for at least four more months is hysterical!

November came and while I normally had my treatments on Friday the cancer center moved them to Monday starting with the round before the retreat. That took away a whole 48 hours of healing time before having to stand and speak for most of the day in front of a group of ladies. I almost panicked but reminded myself that this schedule change was no surprise to God, started praying, and was healed well enough for the retreat.

This week I’ve had a mindset to pick up all the loose pieces of plans that got dropped when I started treatment back in August. With an ease only Jesus can provide everything has started lining right back up! He hasn’t finished his work in me and is showing me that once again through emails and contacts. It’s time to get back to being me!

Yes, I still have surgery and radiation to go but those seems easy peasy compared to chemotherapy! Thank you for the continued prayers my friends. I promise I’ll update soon after tomorrow and certainly before my surgery later this month.